When a friend suggested I read Jen Campbell’s Weird Things Customers Say in Bookstores, I remembered my experience as a volunteer at the information kiosk across from Waikiki Beach.  Sadly, the kiosk is no longer there – abolished by a new mayor – but I still remember laughing at some of the questions from oblivious tourists.

From a woman in four inch heels: “Is there an elevator to the top of the Diamond Head trail?”

“Is there a good place around here to swim?” (The kiosk faced the ocean.)

“Are the fish in the ocean real?” (from someone with too much Disney?)

I should have written them down as Jen Campbell did in her hilarious book.  My favorites include those with “literary references:”

Customer to book salesman: “Have you read Jane Eyre?”  …. “Oh great, can you tell me all about it – I have to write a paper on it tomorrow.”

“Where are your books with words?”

“Do you have Flowers for Arugula?”

“My kid needs The Count of Monte Crisco for Honors English.”

Campbell organized the book around ten topics, from “literary pursuits” to “out of print.” You’ll find something to laugh about in each section, and, maybe, you’ll recognize having heard something just as ridiculous.